Saturday, 14 March 2015

The Importance of Dating your Children

Having a big family is something that I've always wanted.
I wanted a house full of littles and knew the chaos that would come with that. 
I often refer to myself as an expert at managing chaos because my life is complete chaos, happy chaos. 
Our life with three littles is busy, messy and loud but it is also full of love and laughter.
Although I love the happy chaos I know that sometimes all of it can be overwhelming.
When our middle child starts having "accidents" when she has been fully potty trained for a year I know that she is overwhelmed and trying to find a way to get my 100% attention.
When our oldest starts screaming and running around after I've asked her not to more than once not to I know she's feeling overwhelmed and trying to get 100% of my attention.
I don't think Luca has quite yet realised that his mommy's attention is never 100% on him because he's too young but I am well aware that my attention is never 100% focused on any of my children and sometimes that makes me really sad.
My attention is split between 3 kids, a husband, meal prep, cleaning etc etc which is why I decided one on one time with each of my children is so important.
You always hear about the importance of dating your spouse but very rarely do you hear the importance of dating your children and I'm here to tell you why it's so important.

You get to know your child - really know them. 
I love spending one on one time with each of my children. 
I get to see a whole other side of them that I am usually too busy to see.
When your attention is focused 100% on your child with no distractions its amazing how much your child will open up to you. On our dates I find out whats going on at school, feelings my child has been feeling that I was completely unaware of, there favourite song etc.

It builds Confidence
When your child knows that you are there for them 100% they thrive and become confident in themselves which builds their self esteem. 

It's a great teaching opportunity 
Like I said above, having a big(ish) family is loud.
There are usually at least 2 people trying to talk to me at one time and it can be very frustrating for myself and the people trying to get a word in. When you are on a "date" with your child your attention is 100% focused on them and you can use this time to touch on things that you may not have been able to when you were both distracted. Our oldest daughter has been struggling with being kind to a little girl at her school and we have tried to talk to her about the importance of being kind at home but it didn't seem to be sinking in. Tonight my husband and I took her to the movies to see Cinderella and in the movie Cinderella's mother tells Cinderella to "Have Courage & Be kind". Our daughter asked us about this and we ended up having a great conversation about why kindness is important and where it was used in the movie and how we can relate it to real life and she really took it all in. There was no baby brother crying for Elmo in the background or little sister whining to play dolls. 

Cherish
It's easy to get sucked into the trap of day to day life of making lunches, dealing with tantrums, wiping boogers, breaking up fights and forget how much fun being around your little ones really can be. On a date with your child you get to see that sparkle inside of them and really fall in love with them all over again.

I encourage all of you to take the time to date your children individually once a month and I promise the results will be amazing.

I'd love to hear any of your successful date nights with your children. 





3 comments:

  1. i love this idea! we are about to have baby number two, and i really want to make sure i do special things with all my children so they know how loved they are!

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    Replies
    1. So important :) congrats on baby number two!

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